Beginning to Reclaim My ENCHANTED SELF - Part 2
My enchanted self: beginning to reclaim yourself, part 2
Title: Beginning to Reclaim My ENCHANTED SELF - Part 2
Author: Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Article:
Thank you for staying with me as I continue with part two of
this excerpt from The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy. This
section concludes the way I began to reclaim my own Enchanted
Self.
The third unwrapping came when I needed major surgery, an
emergency hysterectomy. I found myself able to permit women to
nurture me through this emergency in a way that I do think I was
able to do before I began this project. I no longer felt I
needed to rely on the authority of the male. I yearned for the
care taking, nurturing capacities that many women offer so much
more freely than do most men. My surgeon was a woman and I
insisted on private-duty female nurses for a while. I allowed
them to cradle me, soothe me, massage me and nurse me.
The next layer that was reached was my capacity to run my
practice differently, as I recovered. I was able to relinquish
some of my controls and to soften professional/client boundaries
as appropriate. I gave them the best that I could while still
being totally honest. Why was in a recovery state, I saw clients
in my living room or provided telephone sessions. I put my feet
up; accepted gifts and food from clients. I let them nourish me
and take care of me for a while.
During this time, my clients and I shared our competencies. They
even paced their subject matter to my recovery level. Usually
this was done without explanation. I accepted their pacing as
one of the beautiful gifts they were able to offer me. As I grew
stronger, their problems reemerged in ways that was able to cope
with. They re-parented me into recovery as I had attempted to
re-parent them before my sudden surgery. From women clients came
gifts and cards and the presentation of beautiful sweets. All
were accepted with joy and from the heart. I made no attempt to
interpret them, which I thought would have been demeaning
because these tokens came out of mutual caring. To have tried to
interpret this material as transferential would have been a
diminishment of our humanity. If need be, I could always use
this material again, anyway. And if some transferential material
never reemerged, what a small price to pay, to give so many of
my clients an opportunity to show their competencies and caring.
Most were able, with grace, to rely on their own capacities
while still being aware that they were staying in treatment not
to have tea with me but to further heal and grow. In helping me
heal, I believe they felt empowered.
About the author:
Dr. Holstein is the originator of The Enchanted Self and a
psychologist since 1981. She is the author of two books: The
Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy and Recipes for Enchantment,
The Secret Ingredient is YOU! Dr. Holstein speaks on radio, and
appears on television in NY and NJ. She gives lectures,
seminars, retreats and audio interviews on LadybugLive.com and
is in private practice in Long Branch, NJ with her husband, Dr.
Russell Holstein.
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